By now we’ve all heard about the
recent hacking of the data (personal and financial information) of the users of
the Ashley Madison website. Some outlets have opined that this is “great” for divorce lawyers, but I think the hack’s
effects will be more nuanced depending upon the individual circumstances of the
marriage and/or the litigants.
First, a clarification: although
adultery is a grounds (legal basis)
for divorce in New York, it is rarely (if ever) used these days to actually get
a divorce. That’s because the plaintiff
seeking a divorce on the grounds of adultery must prove with witness testimony other than the plaintiff him or herself (such as winding up on an episode of the show "Cheaters"), the defendant’s
infidelity. That’s a very high bar to
jump, and it’s rather unnecessary when New York now provides a quasi-no-fault
option of “irretrievable breakdown in the relationship” (what most people mistakenly
refer to as “irreconcilable differences”).
Therefore, even if the Ashley Madison hackers were to expose data that
show specific persons were subscribers to this “adultery” website, that information
alone would likely be insufficient to establish the grounds of adultery.
Setting aside the ID theft issues
(stolen credit card numbers, etc.) I think the matrimonial effects of this hack
(and presuming the eventual leak of the private information accessed), can be
generalized into a few different categories or levels of problems for the
people whose information was accessed.
For those still “happily” married:
Unless your spouse is a luddite or is willfully ignorant of your dalliances,
presume that you will soon be found out.
In some cases this might lead to intensive counseling and couples’
therapy to save the marriage. But more
often than not, it will result in a (potentially acrimonious and expensive)
divorce case. A person finding him or
herself in this situation would be well advised to preemptively seek the
counsel of a divorce lawyer in their area, where they can at least obtain more
particularized information regarding the divorce process, prior to a divorce
case being filed against them. Even the
best attorneys cannot prevent a divorce case from being filed by a “cheated” or
“wronged” spouse, but we can suggest some potentially money-saving processes
for managing the divorce, such as pre-litigation mediation.
For those in the middle of a
divorce: Unless your spouse somehow is suing for divorce on the grounds
of adultery, infidelity is not a significant legal issue. However, proof of infidelity can be an
important bargaining chip. For example,
if you or your spouse is demanding certain distribution of property because you
or they were such a “devoted” spouse for so many years, but it turns out that
you (or your spouse) has been engaging in serial infidelity through aid of this
website for the past decade, it can have significant adverse effects on such an
argument during settlement negotiations.
Therefore, if you know that your information (name, credit card number,
etc.) is on that website and potentially exposed through this hack, you should
inform your divorce attorney immediately so that he or she will have sufficient
lead time to assess and mitigate the damage to your case.
Regardless of the “cause” of a
divorce – and regardless of who stands in the role of plaintiff or defendant –
a divorce is a challenge both emotionally and financially. But as damaging as the end of a relationship
might be, it is also an opportunity to find a new start; a new beginning on
one’s own, or with a new partner perhaps better suited to your personality. While this hack of Ashley Madison was a
troubling criminal act, it might ultimately provide some users of that website
with the impetus necessary to take the leap and make the change they
subconsciously wanted all along.
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